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The
Ketubah (Marriage Contract) |
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What is a Ketubah?
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The
ketubah is a Jewish
marriage contract, which traditionally spelled out the husband’s
obligations to his wife.
Judaism spells out three ways for a couple to marry with
money (or something with monetary value), via contract or through
sexual intercourse.
To create a marriage, one of these three actions would take
place – with the intent to marry.
Later rabbis withdrew sex as a marriage-making act,
flogging anyone who established solely through sex.
In
the first century, Rabbi Simon ben Shetach fashioned the wording
the ketubah to
economically protect a woman in the event of divorce or widowhood.
The settlement money negotiated for the ketubah
would be held by the wife’s father for safekeeping.
Even if the husband had no money, he would be obligated to
hand over something of value for his father-in-law to keep in
escrow.
Divorce
settlement costs were placed high enough to cause a husband to
think twice before divorcing his wife.
When the ketubah was
first instituted, wives could be summarily dismissed by their
husbands.
The ketubah made
so “he shall not regard it easy to divorce her,” according to
the Gemora (Yebamot
89a).
The
ketubah also stipulated
a wife’s right to support, clothing and non-procreative sex.
A husband’s obligation to pay for his wife’s medical
and burial costs were included as well.
The ketubah further assured a woman would leave a marriage
with the dowry she brought to it, and the interest it earned.
Later, in the tenth century, Rabbenu Gershom of Mainz fixed
the pledges of support at a specific amount.
Two hundred silver zuzim were promised; 100 zuzim
would be paid to a woman at the end of a second marriage. Poor
couples were thus spared embarrassment in ketubah
negotiations and at the wedding ceremony when it was read
aloud.
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What is Written in a Ketubah?
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The
traditional ketubah
stipulates wife’s right to support, clothing and sexual
satisfaction. A
husband’s obligation to pay for his wife’s medical and burial
costs were included as well. A general statement in the ketubah The ketubah further assured a woman would leave a marriage
with the dowry she brought to it, and the interest it earned.
A
ketubah handed from a
husband to the wife is symbolic of the covenant Moses wrote as the
Jewish people accepted God at Mount Sinai.
Traditional
ketubah texts fell into
with disfavor among Conservative and Reform Jews as the modern age
dawned because the ketubah set
men as masters of the marriage.
More egalitarian texts have been written, where the couple
pledges support to each other.
References to the woman being a betulah,
which translates as “virgin” have been excised.
The original text made no mention of a man’s virginity.
(In the context of the ketubah, the term betulah
referred to a woman who had never been married before and not
necessarily her sexual history.)
Instead the term penuya,
unmarried,
appears in reference to the bride and panui,
the male form of the word is written before the groom’s
name. Brief mention of financial pledges continue to be included in
the traditional Conservative text.
A
Reform ketubah avoids
the legalisms entirely, as these would be decided in court or
through a will. Instead
the couple signs romantic and ethical pledges to each other.
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Ketubah Design
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A
dizzying array of ketubah
design choices are available.
Ketubah artists abound who can illuminate a marriage certificate to
suit individual tastes.
Personalized ketubot
can be built around Jewish symbols, shared goals, personal loves.
One rock climbing couple had an artist write the ketubah surrounded by a ring of mountains.
Another ecologically minded couple used a tree’s
silhouette to shape their ketubah
text.
A UPS executive tucked a tiny sketch of the familiar brown
delivery truck into a corner of his ketubah.
Still another artist learned Hebrew calligraphy and wrote
out the text in white ink over a poster-sized photograph of a dew
drenched rose. |
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