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Q&A
by: Reb Yosef
November, 2003
Greetings,
My mother had said that she thought her mother might be Jewish but she wasn't sure. My grandmother who raised in an orphanage in Europe so we don't have a previous generation to look for. My mother was also raised in Europe and emigrated with her family to Australia. She has now almost no contact with her five siblings.
My mother talked about a great grandmother with the family name Moses. I looked this name up on the Internet and found that it is not particularly a Jewish family name...is perhaps Huguenot and there are Huguenots in my mothers family on her father's side and she had herself a very strict protestant upbringing (Not buying anything on a Sunday for example).
I concluded that this Jewish connection is probably a romantic idea of my mother's and while she otherwise shows almost no interest in her family and past (Her childhood was traumatic and she was not well treated, also there was a war and places all around were being bombed flat) I concluded that because I feel myself so drawn to this religion, intellectually and emotionally, I could perhaps convert to Judaism. I have contacted a Rabbi where I now live. I have to telephone him this week. He wrote me a very friendly e-mail. I feel very nervous about furthering this connection and am very aware that it will not be without a price... Still, I want to go further with this process to convert to Judaism. I am very interested in feedback from other people on this topic. I have two children and my husband is a very serious vegetarian Hindu. Apart from cooking vegetarian food at home I do not involve myself with his religion. The children are registered as having no religion in the school, where they study Ethics along with other children who are not enrolled for either Protestant or Catholic religious education.
Fiona
(Name withheld)
Reb Yosef's Reply:
Being Jewish is a matter of
the soul (neshamah, ruach, and nefesh - the three elements of the Jewish
soul), not a matter of whether your mother was Jewish. It is said that all
the Jewish souls that would ever live stood at Har Sinai (Mount Sinai)
when God gave the 10 Commandments and Torah.
Now to a couple of really important points. In almost every instance, the
name Moses, Mosher, Moshe, Mazor, Muzzar, Massur (all the same name -
different renditions), etc. is Jewish, as in "Hi Cousin!!." When you go
look at the history of the Jews, you will see that many were persecuted
into being anything but Jewish (including Huguenot). The odd thing is that
Jews sort of kept touch with things using their last names. For example,
when my great-grandmother decided to jump ship, what was the first thing
she did? Changed her name from Stein (maiden name Mosher) to Guenther.
Yeah, that helped. Nobody ever suspected them of being Jewish after that -
all sarcasm intended. That her sons were bankers working with guys named
Cohen, Kissinger and Levy didn't mean anything, nope...
The name is not of course definitive but it does make a difference. Second
point, nobody in their right mind would claim to be Jewish who isn't. One
of the things you will read (and you are about to start some heavy reading
if you want to pursue this) is that Jewish persecution is a reality. I
didn't believe it until I began living an Orthodox life. I believe it now.
I have experienced it - even in the U.S. which is supposed to be for
everyone.
With all that said, now we come to the really hard part for you. Jewish
law says that a person who is Jewish from birth cannot go through a
conversion. You have a very tough job ahead of you because you must do
your best to establish that your mother's mother was either Jewish or not.
Everything will hinge on that because no definitive course can be taken
without knowing that as well as you can. Look at behaviors that indicate a
Jewish heritage - interesting that your mother refused to conduct any
business on the Sabbath, a very Jewish trait, far more Jewish than
Protestant, even Lutheran protestant. In the meantime, you will be free to
practice Judaism to your heart's content. You will be allowed to keep
kosher (which you already do if your husband is a Hindu), keep Shabbat
(the Sabbath) if you wish, and do all those other things we crazy Jews do
to try to connect with God.
I'm not going to give you a reading list - the rabbi in Regensburg will do
that. Don't be nervous - you are about to come home. And when you get
there, it will feel like home and family. And it will have all those
dynamics. You will want to give up, toss in the towel, go back to being
whatever, and then something beyond your control will pull you back. And
each time you get pulled back, you'll know with greater certainty where
you belong.
I'm going to offer one piece of advice on the toughest part of all. Please
remember that at the heart of Judaism is a plethora of beautiful
principles for living life on a day to day basis. But we are people -
terribly fallible, weak, and prone to being human and making mistakes.
When the people part gets you down, remember that each of us is trying to
express her or his Jewish being as well as they can and that the
principles are still at the heart.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you further.
Enjoy your journey!!
Warmest regards,
Reb Yosef
November, 2003
Email your questions or comments to
RebYosef@mazornet.com
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