When is A Yahrzeit Commemorated?
The years pass, time heals, but there is no need to forget. Jewish tradition acknowledges the need to relive a loss, to not totally let go, and sets the Yahrzeit date. A Yahrzeit is an anniversary that commemorates a death according to the Jewish or secular date. (Either date is fine, but observance is best if the date is kept consistently.)
Lighting A Memorial Candle
A 24-hour memorial candle is lit at the onset of the Yahrzeit – the eve of the anniversary if the Jewish date of death is being observed. Candles are found at many Jewish lifecycle events. Ki ner Elohim nishmat adam – the candle of God is the human soul. The flame casts pure light like a soul freed from its physical boundaries.
Memorial candles are available through synagogue gift shops, Jewish bookstores, kosher butchers/grocers, and even general supermarkets with a Jewish clientele. Glass used to be the Yahrzeit candle container of choice, but they are now more commonly housed in aluminum containers. (An end to the Yahrzeit glasses that once proliferated in Jewish cupboards.) No set blessing is said upon lighting the candle, though this is a time to share memories and reflect.
Kaddish
Mark the day by saying the Kaddish with a minyan, a gathering of ten adults, at the service closest to the Yahrzeit date. While one person saying Kaddish is enough, many find strength, meaning, and comfort by gathering the family to say to prayer at the synagogue.
