The History of Kaddish
A prayer for the dead that makes no mention of death, written in a language that fell into disuse 16 centuries ago, why is it so powerful?
The rhythm of the Kaddish. The sounds of peaks and stops, punctuated by the call and response of the Amen. Kaddish is the lullaby of the bereaved.
The Kaddish originated in the first century and achieved the form we know it around the time the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) was written. Written in Aramaic, the language spoken by Jews 5th century B.C.E. through 5th century C.E., it was supposed to be easy to understand.
Kaddish was not coined as a mourner’s prayer. It was said to praise God after study. This is why Kaddish is replete with words that exalt and praise God.
Kaddish began to be associated with mourning because there was an ancient custom to study Torah in the house of a mourner to garner extra merit for the deceased. By the sixth century Kaddish had been incorporated into prayer services as a divider between different portions of the service. Unlearned Jews had access to prayer through the Kaddish because it was chanted in Aramaic, the vernacular of the time. After the slaughter and mayhem of the Crusades, the Kaddish and mourning were thoroughly intertwined.
Praising God in a time of pain seems contradictory, even hypocritical, but it keeps the lines open to healing and forming a new relationship with the Source of Life. In Kaddish we praise God when it is hardest. We praise God without understanding. We praise God to find a place where we can accept death even while asking why.
Who Says Kaddish
Women and men say Kaddish when they lose a parent, sibling, spouse or child. Kaddish is said for siblings, spouses and children for a thirty-day period, until the shloshim. Parents are honored with a full year of Kaddish.
Where and When to Say Kaddish
Saying Kaddish with a minyan, a group of ten adults, has the advantage of bringing the mourner in from the cold solitude of loss to a community of prayer. Each Amen response serves a reminder that the mourner is not alone but is a part of a group that has seen new life and celebration, death and remembrance, and will be there to see them again.
If it isn’t practical to join a minyan, Kaddish doesn’t have to be neglected. Say Kaddish with family, with those who knew the loved one best. Say Kaddish alone, let the rhythms rock and comfort.
Kaddish was traditionally said during each service, three times a day, seven days a week. General practice finds Kaddish said at the weekly Shabbat services.
If no one is available to say Kaddish, extra Torah study or private prayers should be added instead. Hiring out the Kaddish recital has no meaning.
