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Covering Mirrors
Why Mirrors are Covered
Covered mirrors remind a mourner to look to others for sympathy and not to expect to be a tower of self-reliance and strength. Shiva is a time to look inward at the deepest parts that hurt, when superficial answers and the mirror’s reassurance “you look like you’re holding up well” do not help.
A mirror-free home keeps personal beauty practices to a minimum, allowing the mourner to focus on more important matters.
With each person lost, the image of God in this world, is diminished somewhat. Covered mirrors reflect this loss.
On a practical level, covered mirrors act as reminders that marital relations are postponed until after Shiva.
Pulling down tendrils of hair to frame your face or
admiring a shave in the reflection before setting out to create a mood for an intimate evening, are uses for a mirror applauded by Judaism, which celebrates physical love between husband and wife --but not during Shiva. Because mirrors cannot play a part in the mitzvah of intimacy during Shiva, they are covered.
How-to Cover a Mirror
Hanging fitted sheets over framed mirrors or clouding mirrored surfaces with sudsy water will work. Small mirrors are easier to remove or turn around.
Candles
Why Light Candles in a Shiva House
Describing candles as analogous to souls dates back to King Solomon’s statement that “The candle of God is the soul of man” (Proverbs). Thirteenth-century Jewish literature likens flames to souls surging upward to the heavenly spheres. Other Jewish thinkers saw a soul-like vibrancy in the flickering movements of a flame.
How Many and When to Light Them
Seven-day candles, much like tall votive candles, are available through funeral homes and synagogues. One candle is lit at each home where Shiva is observed. It is lit after the mourners return home from the burial. Even if Shiva will be postponed because of a holiday, the candle is lit immediately after coming home from the cemetery.
Some Sephardic Jews keep a candle lit for the whole year of mourning.
Where to Place the Candles
Some Jews place the mourning candle outside of the room where the candles of Shabbat and Jewish holidays are lit to separate sorrow and joy.
According to some halachic authorities, a mourning candle should be lit in the home of the deceased even if the Shiva is sat elsewhere.
Electric Lights
Electric lights that glow to look like a candle are available. Real flames are the best, but if the candles cannot be found or pose a fire threat electric lights may be used.
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